Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Short story writers, what is your favorite character you've created and do they appear in more than one of your works?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Red Dead Redemption 2's PS5 Version Could Be Announced Next Week - Push Square

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

SpaceX adds 27 Starlink satellites to constellation after successful launch from California (video) - Space

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Stunning Space Film Premieres June 9 at Natural History’s Planetarium - West Side Rag

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can read

I have a reading level above third grade

Man Killed by Police After Spiraling Into ChatGPT-Driven Psychosis - futurism.com

I actually pay taxes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can count

Why are so many young teenage boys misogynistic? Where do they get these attitudes from?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Do straight guys like to see cocks?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What are the best recruiting tools available besides Linkedin and job boards?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Pokémon Cafes To Serve Incredible-Looking Plate Of Food That Can Mega Evolve Before Your Eyes - Kotaku

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

‘Harry Potter’ Star Tom Felton on Playing Draco Malfoy on Broadway and Why J.K. Rowling’s Controversy Doesn’t Impact His View of the Franchise: ‘I’ve Not Seen Anything Bring the World Together More Than Potter’ - Variety

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Bitcoin becoming 'more central’ to portfolios as its volatility cools, Coatue's Philippe Laffont says - CNBC

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I see through liars

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fakery

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee